Journey
by NeoMoon
Summary: Doubt can be a terrible thing, it can send one into a darkness that can make one mad . . . This is the story of Mamoru's doubt, his confusing, his madness.


Sailor Moon  
"Journey"  
By: NeoMoon  
  
Darkness surrounds me. I lay in a bed of thorns in my mind the images of along past intertwine   
with the memories of a more resent past almost forgotten. I can remember clearly the hospital,   
and the boy who would one day turn from friend to enemy, and back to friend.  
  
My life has been torment, I can remember the lonely days of the home where all of us were taken.   
It was a place of hardship, no the workers were friendly, it was seeing people, people of who you   
had made friends with taken away, adopted, and you, you were left by the window. Those lovely   
looking wannabe Mother's and Father's only wishing to have the young ones, a subconscious   
prejudges toward us who where older. And so I sat and bid my time, till the day came when I was   
old enough to leave and start a life of my own.  
  
It is dark in my bare room; a faint glow of the moon's light filters in through the drawn   
curtain. I am one with the dark; it is my oldest friend, and my greatest fear.   
  
Light brings life and rebirth, joy and happiness. Night, the dark is the bringer of death and   
dread, it is what human's have always feared. Human fear what is unknown in the darkness so they   
made fire to cut away the edges of that great unknown. That's my mind, the great unknown. I am   
a puzzle to even myself.   
  
I see her, Serena, my love. She to me is the sun rising through the darkness, and banishing it   
back to the depths. She raises over the hill her holy light brighter then the sun it self. I   
walk to her but am no longer able to move her. I am frozen by a distant voice. The light to my   
darkness awaits me, yet I cannot move to her. She calls to me but I cannot go to her, and so I   
run.   
  
I run into the dark wood of my own despair, and lay against a tall oak crying. The tears burn,   
but then are whipped away, by a soft hand. I look up to see a pale face looking back at me. An   
enemy of old stands before me, her dark uniform removed, replaced with that of a white dress and   
cloak.   
  
I stand up, taking a rose from my jacket. "Why have you risen?"  
  
And she, "I have come at the request of the Queen."  
  
She turns looking through the dark wood toward the mountain topped by the light of she I love.  
  
"A greave decision you face now, Prince of Earth." She spoke turning back to me.  
  
"I do not listen to you, evil specter." I retorted to her.  
  
And she returned. "True, I was once a warrior of the Dark Powers, but in my death was I too   
realize the error of my ways." She bowed her head in a silent prayer. "Though dear prince I do   
not stand before you to speak of thyself. I have come to aid you to your prize." She, who was   
once dead pointed at the mountain, my love's light still shining as brightly as the sun.  
  
"You speak of greave decision spirit. What is it that I must decide?"  
  
And she who's dead smiles at me, and replies. "Do you wish to stay and wallow in the filth of   
self-pity? Or, are you, Dear Prince stronger then of that in which I speak?"  
  
I contemplated her remark for a time, before rising to stand before her. And she whom was dead   
smiled, and said. "My good Prince you have made the right chose, but the road ahead shall be   
difficult one." She pointed to a shadowed road that ran next to the mountain that shun with my   
love's light. "For the paths worth taken are always full of trials and tribulations."  
  
I nodded, and she whom is dead began to walk before me, leading the way from the dark wood and   
into the shadowed road. I ran up beside of her and asked. "Why would the Queen come to one who   
had tried to kill her child?"  
  
And she whom was pale of life bowed her head in shame. "I do apologize dear Prince for the   
action of which I was responsible." Then she lifted her head and looked at me, her eyes full of   
shame, and I knew that if she were full of the life that tears would be streaming down her cold   
pale checks. "But as my Queen, the Queen of the Darkness laid before me my life, and I lay in my   
lover's arms, it is then that I realized the error of my ways. So as I lay in the depths of   
coldness and death, a light came upon me, and I saw the glory of the ancient Queen. And in her   
words I was drawn to help, for this dear prince is the smallest repayment I can give for the   
crimes that I have committed against you and yond Princess, your love."  
  
The sun sat high in sky, Palos taking a rest letting his horses drink from the dew of the sky. I   
looked up at the sight of this beauty. And she whom was dead, took my shoulder to her hand, and   
said to me. "Dear Prince, take heed the sun shall no longer be in our viewing." And with her   
dead eyes she to gazed upon the glory of the sun in the afternoon sky. "For where we go the sun,   
and light do not enter."  
  
"Dark Specter, where is it that you take me?"  
  
And she with no life pointed at a large door made from the darkest of iron. "Prince within these   
doors lays a realm of which many of man never return from."  
  
"What realm do you speak of?"  
  
And she whom was dead replied to me; "We enter your past, dear prince. We go into what haunts   
you."   
  
The doors open before us, and I shudder at the coldness that swept out, and caressed my body.  
  
"Come." Said she who was dead, and in my defense I grabbed a rose from within my jacket as we   
entered into the cold darkness.  
  
I closed my eyes as the darkness surrounded my form.  
  
My eyes opened slowly, there weight oddly heavy, I had just been awake fully only moments before.   
I looked at my surroundings and gasped at what I saw. I was in my parents car, my father   
driving, my Mother reading a novel dimly lit by the car's overhead light. It was this night so   
long ago. I had almost lost my life here, and my parents had lost there's.   
  
*Specter! Why did you bring me here?* I screamed in my mind.  
  
And she who was dead answered. *Dear Prince this is where your torment began.*   
  
I felt the car swerve, felt as it hit the divider, felt the shear force of the gravity as the car   
dove of the cliff. And as I could hear my parents scream, as the force of my Mother's hand   
pushing me against the seat, I swayed the whole world faded I could see my parents imploding into   
themselves, light matter everything being sucked into a single point. My mind swam in the   
dizziness of all that was occurring and as the world went black, a hand rested itself on my   
shoulder, and she who was dead spoke. "Dear Prince, are you well?"  
  
I lifted my head finding myself as the present me, on a road, sitting looking at the scene of the   
end of part of my life. I loved my parents greatly, and I never had the chance to see this, my   
parents being carted into the ambulance, blankets over there head.  
  
"Why make me watch this!" I screamed rising up, getting in the face of she who was dead.  
  
"This is the beginning of your journey, prince more is to come, be still your emotion, are you   
shall never reach your love."   
  
I sighed looking away from those who were my parents, burning the images of them into my mind.   
Then I turned from them, wiping the tears from my eyes. "Let us go Specter." I whispered not   
bothering to look at the pale woman.  
  
We walked in silence down the mountain road, a cold breeze rising up on us as we once again   
entered the darkness. I could see nothing but she who was dead walking before me. She turned   
and said to me. "Prince this is the last of where I can accompany you, I can not go further then   
these, I can not help you after here."  
  
I walked to her side, feeling the icy cold water that she stood in. "Where is that I go to now   
Specter?"  
  
She who was dead placed her hands on my face and kissed me, I pushed her away as my energy left   
me, and felt myself fall into the icy cold water.  
  
"I opened my eyes to see a small boy laying beside. "Fiore," I whispered, extending my now child   
like hand to feel his face. He smiled at me, just as a pain rose in my head.  
  
  
I saw him, myself, past present. All as one yet separate, my mind stretching and constricting   
with the passing of all that I saw. He left, he returned possessed by an evil, my friend, turned   
enemy, I saw my rose, my weapon striking him in his heart, I relived his final gift to me. I   
screamed as I saw him dead, dead because of me, a person who I loved as a brother. Then once   
more I felt the icy waters, the thin lapping of its waves hitting my face. I stood slowly, and   
she who was dead looked at me, her face filled with sorrow. I walked over to her, and she smiled   
as I touched her face, passing a finger over the scar I had given her. "I am sorry specter."  
  
Again if she had life she would have cried, she turned from me, disappearing into the darkness,   
over the icy waters.  
  
And I sat on the banks of the icy waters for a time, then there came behind a radiating light. I   
turned to find a man in blue staring at me, his hand extended to me.  
  
I took his hand and was helped to my feet. "You are the traitor." I questioned.  
  
And he answered; "Yes I am he who was called a traitor for my love."  
  
He walked away from me his dark hair paled in his death. "Your journey is only half over   
  
Prince."  
  
I looked at him who died for his love and he pointed the way. I followed behind him, as he   
walked not speaking. I had fought this man, tried to kill this man, and he had tried to kill my   
love and he friends. And now I followed behind his pale form as it glided before me.  
  
"Your Queen is a gracious woman." He spoke not turning to me; always face the way he walked.  
  
I did not answer and he spoke no more till we stopped before another door. "Enter Prince, and   
know yourself." I did not hesitate, did not ask questions, I just reached for the door and was   
sucked in.  
  
All I saw was darkness, felt only cold. This was not where I had been, this was worse, this was   
emptiness. And in that darkness a flash of red. I stood as the flash of red grew and grew; I   
reached into my jacket grabbing a rose for defense.  
  
"That will not help." Spoke an eerily familiar voice.   
  
I felt a sharp pain hitting my hand, and I dropped the rose. The red came closer to me.   
"Welcome home Prince." Spoke he who was dead.  
  
Then came a flash of red light so bright it lit everything in my eye shot, and before me, stood   
as if a mirror, me. Myself stood before me, garbed in my Tuxedo, holding a darkened red rose in   
his hand. He smiled and lifted the rose, throwing it toward me, missing me.  
  
I looked upon myself, and once more he who was dead spoke. "This is your true enemy, prince.   
  
Your true enemy is the self. If not for the fears that you hold within the self . . ." His   
voice trailed off, as attacked he who looked as I did.  
  
He threw a rose, it slashing my face, the pain screaming in my mind. And in that moment I   
realized that it was I that stopped myself from reaching the mountain. It was the self; I that   
was the one that hold me back. That I, my fear of others, my fear of rejection, and being left   
alone, to be abandoned, that had caused me to stop. And in this realization the other self   
disappeared, the red of existence was lifted replaced by a beautiful white.  
  
I looked up seeing once more the mountain that my love stood, and I started toward it. At it's   
base stood four figures, once my generals, and later my enemies. They stood smiling waiting for   
me to climb to my love, and so as I grabbed the first rocks to climb the mountain, they who where   
once my generals cheered for me, and so as I reached the top of the mountain, and beheld my love.  
  
I gazed at her beauty, wrapped my arms, around her, and realized that she was why I lived; she   
was the light to my darkness. I faced my darkest fears, and insecurities to reach her. So to my   
love, I say; "Thank you."  
  
  
END  



End file.
